NidPor

Last chapter

2005-12-28T04:26:00.000+09:00

Dec 10th - 16th

Dark; late drive to work sudden swerve as obstacle in road is an elephant with a light tied to his tail - made me smile but felt sad at the same time.

Days of goodbyes to friends that i will probably never see again was very up & down emotionally. I wish i could say that i will still know them all in a years time....................

Bye Kerala .................. Nx

Memorize the city........

2005-12-11T12:35:00.000+09:00

Dec 9th > Guest house (broken), Jawahar Nagar, Trivananthapuram (Trivandrum)

For Ali's last day i had a special treat in store - overnight in the guesthouse & guess what? - on arrival neither the power or the toilets were working!. We decided to brave the city streets and jumped in a cab for our day's adventure.

The exciting exploration began in The South Park hotel where we found (typical there being just 1 week left before i leave) a PUB!!! - nice snacks; good beer; TV for footie.

Ho-Hum over the road to Annas Arcade at Spencer Junction (I had seen a billboard for a 'trendy' clothes store) - plus a pair of black levis : minus £17 later and on to a craft shop on the MG roadwhich was about as interesting as going to a craft fair in the UK! (stifled my yawns and found a few pressies though).

The decision to finish at the local 'Puttan Malika' palace had been taken much earlier. I fancied seeing how the other half live here, so we paid our pittance, kicked off our shoes and set forth on the 'Royal Palace Musuem tour'. The tour = interesting......shame they hadnt given the place a bit of a clean and dust.....also a pity that so many of the precious artifacts were cracked and slightly unseemly (looked like they had literally fallen off the back of a few lorries). Despite my tongue-in-cheek overview, I really enjoyed the tour, and architecturally the building was quite fascinating with wood carved ceilings and walls around marble floors. Royalty in Trivandrum basically means being quite poor; living in the same way as the people roundabouts; calling yourself the Maharaja & all whilst living in a bigger house than your neighbours in a prime real estate location.

Sri padmanabhaswamy (apparently) temple is next door to the palace and is an amazing structure. It is a magnet for Hindu's (who are allowed inside), and non-hindu's (who aren't!)....whilst walking around outside i marvelled at the stone carvings and at the sheer number of local lads who had foregone the chance of getting pissed on this sunny day for a spot of religion. It is also the only place in Trivandrum where you are likely to see other westerners.....

Guesthouse - Residency for food - Guesthouse - early night early morning - Dawn flight departure for Ali.

'just sitting here watching the wheels go round + round

2005-12-10T13:20:00.000+09:00

Dec 4th - 9th > Taj Green Cove Resort, Kovalam

What can i say......had an absolutely wonderful time and the Taj Green Cove is a gr8 hotel. Also took Ali to Kovalam and managed to take a few snaps.

AYAYAYAY Moosey

2005-12-10T13:18:00.000+09:00

Nov 29th - Dec 4th > Muthoot Plaza, Trivandrum

Farewell Residency thy rooms were dark and cool but alas the builders outside kept sleep at bay for too long. Off to the Muthoot which is about 1/2 mile away and is posher, but less friendly (strange sounds like people?). Quiet though, and my stay here was relaxed and restful. I have next week off as Ali is arriving on Saturday (yippee!) for a holiday.

15 minutes into her Indian experience and Ali is introduced to the first slice of fuzzy logic India style by none other than the cabbie. A number of hours earlier he had picked me up from the Muthoot hotel. At first i presumed he was taking us the 'scenic' route back, but it gradually dawned on me that the signposts were indicating an alarming increase in the km to Trivandrum.

I enquired on our destination - ''scuse me, where are we going?'. The blank look in response was as expected. 'W H E R E A R E W E G O I N G ?' I took extra care and time to mouth the words in the hope that my non-English speaking friend would get my point (and hopefully confirm that he new a special shortcut).

A light came on in his eyes 'Kovalam'. A light went off in my eyes 'Why are we going to Kovalam?'. 'Kovalam' he re-iterated and continued apace.

I looked at Ali, looked up skywards, stifled a scream, thought about biting down on my fist for effect 'W H Y A R E G O I N G T O K O V A L A M ?'.

I still have no idea why we were going to Kovalam. Suffice to say that the driver obviously felt that the extremely tired and jaded looking passenger we had just collected wanted to sit on the beach (maybe even board) with her big Yellow suitcase.

'T R I V A N D R U M!' I stated. Blank/Vacant/Incomprehension/Nothing. 'M U T H O O T - T R I V A N D R U M - S T O P!'. We stopped. 'Kovalam.........?' - 'N O.....T R I V A N D R U M'.

'Kovalam No.....Trivandrum?'. (I could have kissed him) 'Yes Trivandrum, The Muthoot - where you picked me up from hours ago'.

'Residency....?'. a pause - do i cry/combust/exit taxi (i was trying not to laugh) - 'Why would i want to go to the Residency? - T H E M U T H O O T, T R I V A N D R U M'. Instant u-turn in the middle of the road (obviously nothing managed to not miss us).

15 minutes later and we are going past the turning to the Airport. The km to Trivandrum going down. The twist in this tale......He took us to The Residency.

After persuading the driver for the umpteenth time that i did indeed want to go back to the place from whence our little adventure had started i obviously managed to convince him that despite my devious nature, no-one had in fact checked me out of The Muthoot and (just for fun) checked me into The Residency whilst we were journeying.

About an hour into The Muthoot experience, Ali experiences her second India.....Why? moment. After dropping us off, i asked the driver to wait as we would be going to the guesthouse in Jawahar Nagar (N. Trivandrum). He had bobbed his head (which means Yes/No/Fuckknows *delete as applicable).

So we dropped Ali's bag off-breakfasted-Met Jam in lobby. Outside, the Maharaja like doorman with the BIG handlebar moustache was asked to advise the driver that we were waiting for him (they always drop off and park round the back).

Another blank look 'babble babble' his lip-bush barked. I looked at Ali/at Jam. We looked at each other ('is that thing alive'?) - i only thought that....I think. He pointed at the front desk.

We went to the front desk. 'Car for room 409?' i gleefully suggested. The happiest receptionist in glumville jabbed her thumb back in the direction of the Concierge (actually the conthierge-his lisp, not mine)-(who stands the other side of the door to Colonel Clump).

'Conth....Concierge bloke, car for room 409 - if ya please'. Shuffling of feet/hands and the not unexpected response - 'Doorman!'.

Back with the Door man, and he is suddenly alert and attentive to our enquiry.'Car for room 409' i squeek.

He looks at the 2 security guards (to make sure he had their attention....?), stands to his full height-chest out and presses the hotel garage intercom (ahhh - we are getting somewhere i begin to think for the minutest of nano seconds)

'ROOM FOUR EIGHT NINE' BOOOOMs the bush.'FOUR.EIGHT.NINE' again (Im sure Trivandrum actually paused for just a second) ......silence......nothing.'err, 'scuse me but i think i said 409....?'I offer.

Bristle/twitch/windsor davies/Intercom - 'F O U R E I G H T N I N E' (lovelyboylovelyboy) explodes into the air (birds took flight!).

'hmmm, errr, sorry to be a pain - my room is Four (with fingers aloft) Zero (with fist aloft) Nine (both hands-Nine fingers).

In the between thunderclap interlude, the doormans eyes shifted to his 2 cohorts/guards. He eyed me suspiciously, filled my vision as his 'tache and belly seemed to grow before my very eyes.

He thumbed the com - 'F O U R . Z E R O . E I G H T . N I N E !'

I Blubbed

'F O U R . Z E R O . E I G H T . N I N E !'

Tears streamed down my face

'F O U R . Z E R O . E I G H T . N I N E !'

(he must know there is no 4089....right)

Silence....calm.....giggle in throat.....pause

The doorman glowered at our little posse/his facial bush photosynthesising. The guards looked at us. The conthierge (who had since joined there little gang) viewed us with suspicion. We were ushered back into the lobby and outside the 4 had a group huddle and committee decisioned that they should all goto the garage to look for our vehicle.

Just as the conthierge was disappearing i offered 'Maybe the car didnt wait? - why dont you just order us another cab?' - (His look confirmed the ridiculous nature of my suggestion (I mean, why on earth would a cab for a room that doesnt exist not be there?) Too long already story short - Much searching/ tannoying/excusing/pacing/gnashing of teeth and some laughter later (about 30 minutes)) - That's exactly what he did.

Xmas Party Dec 3rd
The Indian office threw an Xmas bash tonight - the setting a remote beachfront near the Taj hotel, north of the hustle and bustle of lighthouse beach. Pretty much everyone from the office was there, and it was really nice to see so many people having fun and dancing (and drinking!) - good time had by all. Ali arrived and met pretty much everyone. There was no singularly funny moment, the whole night was a blast! - watching Indian guys getting pissed on a bottle of beer as they dont drink a highlight - took a few snaps............

Renjith - 'The cat'

Jam (h'aight!) & Sameer (sam ear.......smear?)

The very lovely Shabarinath - 'SHABA!'

Sathiajith - 'Sathia'

Anupama ('pama') & Manu the worlds most brilliantly named Utd fan!

Arun

a mythical unicorn

Suraj; Donatus + Ranjaith

'Black adder' Praveen; Saiju; Biju; Prasanna; Sameer; Praveen (#2); Renjith; Mohammed and just to show my memorys as it has always been some guy at the front. (i think his name is Vipin.....oops!)

'city of the snake'
Trivandrum or 'Thiruvananthapuram' was the capital of the kingdom of Travancore from 1750 until 1856 when the state of Kerala was created (yippee!) It's name (now Trivandrum) derives from Thiru-anantha-puram, or the holy city of Anantha (who is only the coiled snake that Vishnu-god reclines on in the midst of the cosmic ocean.....man!)

Apparently sitting around cosmically has a special name - Padma-nabha (known to us mere mortals as Lotus navel!!) which is depicted as the Vish-man lying top anantha snake with a lotus growing from his navel. The lotus is a seat for the god Brahma (who (my guess) is a bull.....?) to recline upon, and all this represents the beginning of a new era. If only all religions were this simple....we'd all be flocking to our nearest church/temple/shrine to learn more.

och....Doontoon

2005-12-09T22:39:00.000+09:00

Nov 27 - 29th > Residency towers, Trivandrum

The Residency - Liked - staff down to earth and right in the middle of the city. Took off on foot for a change of scenery.

'M.G.' Road - MG=Mahatma (coatmashoesmaskirt?) Gandhi - v.famous Indian Blokey whose autobiog i'm reading at the mo!. This is the main street through Kerala's capital city - their 'Oxford street' i guess (these images are not meant to give an unfair impression of what is a pretty brill, and often hahaha-'halarious' city!):

MG road - no paths; clapped out buses; decrepit cars; gaseous fumes and men in skirts!

Red banana anyone?......anyone?:

tuk-tuk or rickshaw?

Political graffiti adorns most of the walls in the city. This particularly colourful example says 'Mahatma woz ere' (allegedly) - Nice to see a bloke in troosers for a change!

Quite why I decided to dive in front of the commisioners car remains a mystery

Currently my favourite guns; weapons and.......'chemicals' shop.

(aka 'men at work') - the view:my 6th story window. I asked the room attendant what the crazy climbers were doing - 'construction' he replied. Good to see the H+S practices over here are in line with everything else.........nice rope ladder though!

Ponmudi, a dog, Nuns.....must be a sign! (also featuring some bloke (?) on a rock!)

2005-11-27T14:56:00.000+09:00

'Excuse us, have you seen a white haired + heavily bearded man hereabouts?'

Err......but.........ummm........what does it all mean?.......Hmmmm.....my fave sign of the mo!.......?

Dawn = Ponmudi

Thanks (really!) to Jam for the pics of moi!

(Yes - those are the same trousers as last week, i have washed them....promise - unlike my hair!)

Head for heights.......

2005-11-27T14:44:00.000+09:00

Nov 21 - 27

I dont want to write too much about the week. Suffice to say:

Cloud broke (and spewed forth rainus muchus)
TV broke
Modem broke
Microwave broke
Power to house broke
Toilet broke
Taxi broke (whilst parked outside house)
Sleep broke (had about 3 hours a day average)
=
Patience broke (im moving out to a hotel for a few nights from Sunday!)

I think the guest house is cursed.

Had an interesting midnight conversation with three strapping undercover policemen who pulled up next to the replacement cab (for the one that broke!) in a rickshaw 'how did they all fit in that'? before giving me the third degree in safety as apparently we were parked waiting in an area notorious for muggings and riots!!! Instructed the driver to leave the local getto after we had first picked up Praveen (night-shift tech colleague who is a cool guy & we call 'black adder')) - he lives there!

Saturday went to Ponmudi. Ponmudi is a hill station at an altitude of 1000m above sea level on the Western Ghats mountain range. Surrounded by tea plantations its name (apparently) means Golden Crown in Malayalam - i'm not sure why i expected it to have a yellow peak.....because it didn't.

It was however very remote, and the journey took us through dusty villages past colourful Keralans and more palm trees than i probably thought existed and up the single lane mountain track higher and higher (saw an Elephant!!!) the 22 hairpins offering picturesque (thats one word for it!) drop-offs either side of the vehicle as we dodged buses coming in the other direction.

On arrival we checked in to our room (6 quid for the night.....and it was probably worth about that) before going for a walk. The views were spectacular (photos do not do them justice). Every direction, as far as the eye could see, was green fauna - palms/tea plantations/forests - no sign that a billion people live on this sub-continent. At the top of Ponmudi had a surreal moment as a group of Nuns suddenly appeared from behind a rock, obviously looking for something (god?) - they found me & Jam!

Returned to room where the 'weeeee's of mosquitoes and the general scuttles of cockroaches and worse interupted zzz's. Saw the dawn, took some more snaps and left.

This weeks featured soundtrack artists:

Blackbud
Nizlopi
Pearl Jam

roof with a view.....

2005-11-20T23:30:00.000+09:00

Hats off to Jam for the Photo's!

cue Hasselhoff.......Baywatch moments

2005-11-20T13:11:00.000+09:00

Nov 15-20

Back on the boards as the sun shone and the surf called. A couple of trips to Kovalam invigorates. Talk of Kovalam being a surfers graveyard becomes apparent as Jam excites the female company by being dragged out beyond the breaks. I had felt the draw intensify and just caught a whopper that brought me right in, Jam had been deeper & i blindly stood in the shallows squinting out to sea as S'MadaM & Kim (from work) panicked 'he's waving, he's in trouble!' I calmly fumbled on my specs to spy an obviously tired Jam battling with the reverse-tide. See, Surfers have met their maker at Kovalam, but surfboards arent attached to you like BB's - you get tired without a board, where can u go but down? - with a bb, you get tired, rest & even if you are taken further out, the Baywatch (ha!) hunks (haha!) will come and rescue you. Funny site of 2 (or 3?) pot bellied speedo wearing life-guards swimming out to Jam is trumped by Jam finally catching an absolute beaut and sailing over Hasselhoff & co's heads as they are smashed by sea's fury - nice one!.

On shore one of the hero-guards advises J that if in trouble he shouldnt wave, but just stick his hand in the air(obviously when you are being dragged out to sea and waving, you are having fun!). Jam calmly asks 'nice swim?' - brilliant!

I had spent the hours leading up to this excitement asleep - a Friday nite all-nighter that had ended with one of those not-so-good-in-the-cold-light-of-day-plans to jump in a 7am cab to the beach. Arrive-beach-drunkensplash-wake-horriblehangovercreepingup-arsenalshirtwearing sunbed man offers us 'Juice'-arrival of smiling beer wielding cafe proprieter certainly notwhatthedrordered-drankhalf (rudenottoo!)-then eat-feelshite-sleep-feelshite-baywatch episode.

At the end of the last shift for the week, Jam & I had taxi'd to the Residency for a curry and a
couple of Kingfishers. On return home, joined by S'MadaM & Lizzie & the beer flowed, the music played and ale became bacardi then vodka then hazy recollection of more beer. Drunken query of timeupdate is met with 5am response and crazy climb over tiles to roof summit where the singing of Irish songs met the new dawn and beach plan (above).

Speant a short while on the MG road in the week snapping poor people for profit (?) no real award winning photies but a pretty cool experience nonetheless.

MUFC - one word 'Keano!' - thanks for the memories! (cant believe its all over)

Saturday night after Kovalam and we visit a new resort that has its own private beach north of the Lighthouse beach we know and love. The Taj is a stunning hotel, and i am going to book it for a couple of nights when Ali visits (she....no, we will love it!) - We stay for a meal and i have my first steak since arriving - 5 of us ate 3 courses with drinks for a grand total of 25 quid!

The last day of a hectic week is spent in the morning rush to a wedding in town of Saiju & Sangeetha from the office. We just make it as the cabbie gets the venue right second attempt (would have been funny if we had waltzed into the wrong event!) - 600 people in a room, and we are treated like guests of honour and walked past staring minions to the front row (get behind me relatives and friends that have known the couple all their life, im obviously English, white & therefore VERY important! - bemused....moi?) ceremony on stage is obscured visually by a throng of photo'ers and lighting technicians & any speech drowned by the crowd and mobile phone conversations. Good to see that the usual almostgotitrightism of all things hereabouts extends to the most sacred of ceremonies.

This weeks featured soundtrack artists:

The Ramones - i wanna be sedated (dvd biog & burnout3 soundtrack)
Futureheads - area

City sized puddles

2005-11-15T08:02:00.000+09:00

Nov 10-14

Another week splashed by - it rained so hard on Sunday that we had to turn the cab round as the way was flooded. It has rained every day. Somedays showers, other days the deluge has been pretty awesome. (Apparently it isnt monsoon season!)

There is an old long-haired bearded Hindi man who sits by flickering gas light in a shanty bar we pass on the way to work. The darkness dances in the pale shadow and atmospheric gloom. Wake from our wheels must reach him, but he is there, huddled + alone in his thoughts every time. HE is becoming increasingly my vision/memory of India.

The rain kind of restricts your activities to staying indoors, sprinting to cars, sprinting from cars and drying yourself off from the yard hop out the car to the front door. It is like trying to dodge a wall of water....dodgewall?

Only other major event is getting on MSN messenger finally, and having a webcam this has helped me to see Ali + family at home, as well as keep in touch with friends - BIG thanks to all for helping keep my spirits up (feel kind of prison-like claustrophobia at times)

So the India experience has kind of stalled thanks to the weather, but it has been a rollercoaster ride thus far, and it is good to be able to take the foot off and gauge some perspective on the trip. Complaining about not having TV/PC thru power-outs etc makes you realise that the locals here, most of whom have neither luxury, carry on through the rain as normal. The umbrellas they carry now act as a shield to the rain, as opposed to a block for the sun.

On a different tack - I understand that blokes dont get any action before marriage over here, but i need to find a polite way of telling them that though i am happy to consider them as mates, that doesnt mean i need them to hold my hand after we have shaked; rub my back; put their arm around my shoulders and/or waist or (and i kid you not!) stroke my thigh before gently squeezing my knee! (as happened this evening). Need to explain that on a night on the town, on my way to the pub, it is not a general practice for me to walk down the street with my mates holding hands whilst gently swinging our arms in tandem (which seems to be the norm here) before buying a round of babyshams (although, if the mood takes, i do enjoy the latter with a dash of brandy!) and telling them how beautiful their hair looks (on more than one occasion!)- it is really sweet to see grown men walking along obviously comfortable with one another, and i dont have a problem with guys cuddling up to one another when they sit on a sofa together as that is how their friend/relationship works. Fair play to them! - it's my problem that being English I cant get used to what feels like an invasion of personal space, when i know that it is purely meant as a sign of friendship.

Feel an increasing need to get my hair cut and not shave for a bit!

Stranger in a strange land

2005-11-10T19:04:00.000+09:00

Nov 8-9

The (India) machine works?

TV broken just went dead - repairman called round (screwdriver in hand) looked at it scratched his head switched the 'on' button - still dead unplug plug switch scratch head depart stage left hilarious.........Basic synopsis: The TV broke because we used it.....?......!

Toilet broke just stopped flushing for a while then surprisingly started again - plumber turned up after it was working again (i'd flushed it) scratched his head flushed the handle and said it was working.....?.....! apparently we shouldnt be flushing paper.....nice to have known (we've only been out here 6 weeks) Basic synopsis: The Toilet broke because I used it......?.....!

Bed Bug genocide - The wee smell was in the mattress guard, and had transfered its pungency to the pillows and sheets...and me! - eau d'peepee the new fragrance for MEN!. Bed bug's last guard wiped out by vicious cleaner with vacuum - bite's stopped and healing. The smell was caused by my body-heat and the current damp climate. Basic synopsis: The bed smelt because i used it.....?......!

The cook that cant? (juries out!) - 6 days straight served 'aloo dish led me to regret my comment that 'I like spicy potato (errive aloo)' - we have been treated to mash aloo curry; aloo gobi; aloo korma (mash & boiled); bombay aloo and lastly 'not f'n aloo again!' - all served with rice. Basic synopsis: My mouth....I shouldn't use it!

Blame it on the weatherman? - well, no actually because he said it would rain all week....and it has! - apparently the rain should ease up around the middle of the month and then it is the best time of year to be in Kerala.....we'll see!

in the chord of Cm

2005-11-08T16:42:00.000+09:00

Nov 6 - 7

Never sure if i really like Sunday's. Such a different vibe to the rest of the week and so dependant on one thing that governs whether the day will be good, or bad....

Today it Rained (surprise!)

TV is fixed; Jam is back + new housemate Lizzie has arrived from UK. Also can play the following on the guitar (well on Sham's guitar anyway):

Oasis - Live Forever (Maayybbaaay i doont rreeeaallyy waannna nnaaawww....)Green Day - Time of your life (f'n Gr8)Nirvana - About a girl&Libertines - Time for heroes (!!!)

Also picking up on Libertines track 'Music when the lights go out' which has a nice chord change from C to Am....(listen to me going all Bert Weedon!) Trying to learn the chords to Jam fave 'Love Generation' by Bob Sinclair but it's proving quite tricky - will get there though!

All the way to Kovalam for a bite to eat as lightning flicked the sky the waves a photograph of negative to positive light.

Bed at 3am (cube 2 : Hypercube proved too much!) couldn't sleep. Fan not working so room = oven saw 5am + the dawn chorus kicked in (wanted to kick out) - finally drifted off to be awoken at 8am by loud conversation right outside my room. Blokes jabbering away without a care then 'clipclipclip' a monotonous but no less continuous tone as they preceded to 'trim the verge' - LEAVETHEFAKIN'EDGEALONEIMTRYING2SLEEP! - suffice to say i'm not v.well rested.

I also think that in a past life i must have wet the bed (i'm mostly house-trained now.....mostly) as the smell has come back to haunt me - I changed bed-sheets yesterday & woke gagging to the hum of stale urine a not pleasant aroma of at least 3 years maturation in a dusty dark Indian cupboard. Also seem to have bed bugs as my feet are a minefield of itchy sores so need to sort that pronto!

Sleep deprivation due to heat/gardeners/bugs/wee smell = feel oppressed. Must get out + do something next weekend!

This weeks featured soundtrack DJ.....
Zane Lowe

Fancy a pint!

2005-11-06T19:19:00.000+09:00

Nov 4 - 5

What to write, what to write - apart from the usual, it's been a quiet couple of days. (hilight is the post about Elvis! U-huh-huh!)

Friday woke late rushed around jumped in cab worked - i showed some photos of the holiday; Ali; Friends + family to the office. (Ali - sorry the one snorkelling was included!) (Also had one of Ginger legend (with baby) who i described as 'my friend' & 'the funniest man alive!!' - see ledge, i'm even spreading the word worldwide...H'aight!) returned home for spicy aloo curry which Aji cook has been perfecting. I had meant to plan something for the w/e, but it's here! - nought planned so i guess i'll just have to see what happens.

Saturday Rain! (MAYA!) still darn hot though, but the beach is a no so I spent time on photoshop prepping some shots for my stock photo contribution. Then decided to read (Dark Tower vi!) + before you know it i'm asleep (again!). Went to the Muthout hotel in town for a Sat nite curry buffet which was pretty good (+ pretty xpensive @ a tenner), then back for footie; guitar + beer & .......

Funny how what was so strange + unusual six weeks ago has now almost become frustratingly predictable. Where the constant powerouts + things just not quite working right were somehow quaint, now they are tiresome (sigh) well, let me explain - last night half the power was still out, Trivandrum on a Saturday night (well, on pretty much any night) sleeps after about 9pm. TV sound went (Jam fixed by hitting the top of the box - seriously!) then the modem decided to conk out (interrupting an exciting Saturday nite Lemmings session! (GOD for a drink session + loud music!)) which led to TV followed by the satellite which transmits the signal to the TV abruptly deciding to end transmission. 'OK then i'll go to bed' - cruel world!.

This week has been the festival of Divali - The guys in the office have all had a couple of days off to celebrate + the sky at night has been alight with fireworks and the usual quiet has been littered with dull thuds as fireworks & thunder compete for attention.

Divali, known worldwide as the Festival of Lights, is celebrated by Hindus in India and around the globe. Candles and lamps are lit as a greeting to Lekshmi (goddess of wealth.....+ light!). Gifts and cakes are exchanged and festive meals are prepared during Divali. Click to learn more

Being indoors, I have missed Ali a lot. At home if it's raining, nothing to do, she can always manage to make me laugh (mostly by accident!) or drag me down to the cinema + she never tires of my teasing.....OK, so she's probably sick of that! (in fact whilst im sat over here pining, she's on a well earned break after 10 years of it!) I thought it kind of apt, being the festival of light, that i've thought about her most this week.......................

(i was going to post the one snorkelling, but i guess i'll keep it up my sleeve haha!)

Pinch; punch 1st-3rd of the month............

2005-11-04T00:28:00.000+09:00

Complaints of blog weirdness lead to keeping it simple.

Sleep - Guitar - remembered to eat - web - read - eat - work - busy - home - sleep - eat - web - guitar - read - eat - web - work.

BOO!.....i'm a scarey ghost!

2005-11-02T00:21:00.000+09:00

Oct 31st

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!.....Wooooaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!.....(boo!)

Halloween is great (?), it's one of those completely pointless holidays that i just dont get (I get a fright looking in the mirror most days as is!) so to celebrate this auspicious occasion, i did sweet FA today.

Thought about getting up at a reasonable time....couldn't be arsed
Thought about having a shower...couldn't be arsed (no-one else in this place seems to bother!)
Thought about havin an Omelette for brekkie/Lunch...what time is it?...c-b-a!
Thought about going to the beach/boarding......couldn't be arsed
Thought about going trick/treating to the local slums....couldn't be arsed
Thought about cheering up cook Aji by actually eating some of his food......c-b-a!
Thought about learning some more local lingo...........couldn't be arsed
Thought about apple-bobbin, but due to the colour of the water......c-b-a!
Thought about World peace, + how if i focus my energies i could make a difference.....c-b-a!
Thought about playing guitar...........couldn't be arsed
Thought about the funniest joke ever told, and i'd tell it but......c-b-a!
Thought about sticking a sheet on my head, hiding behind the coconut palm, and just as happy guard walked past - BOO!..could have been arsed (but it was raining!)
Thought about buying some fireworks to compete with all those going off as i try to sleep as it's the festival of DIVali....c-b-a!
Thought about trying to find the get who keeps letting those loud bangers off just outside my window when i'm trying to sleep (suspicions of Happy guard?)......c-b-a!

Thought that if i could be arsed to do something, it might lift my general malaise......ordered a PIZZA!

In a hats off to other pointless festivals/holidays, I thought it would be fun to have an easter egg hunt (YES - insanity reigns again hereabouts!) November the 1st will be a mystery day + i've created a secret blog garden that is linked to from this one..........................good luck finding it................clue.......(AF!)

The Damage Done

2005-10-31T15:59:00.000+09:00

Oct 30th

Finished reading The Damage Done by Warren Fellows. It's a frightening true story of a convicted drug smuggler's 12 years spent in Bang Kwang or 'Big Tiger' prison in Bangkok. Click the link to read a few pages (not for the squeamish!). Moral of the story -Drugs (traffiking or taking) : Just say No!.

Spent the whole day reading the above + sleeping - what a lazy get!

Evening went to South Park Hotel in Trivandrum as they have a nice all-U-can-eat buffet. Piled my plate with lashings of: fishfingerswithlime/vegaloocurry/naan/pineapplerice/brightpinkbeetroot+chillicurry/eriveullamurgh (spicychickencurry)

Then back to play O-U-T with new football on the roof terrace til earlyamhours/laterish.

Sat looking at the stars + thinking about the Universe; Ali (my comfort-blanket) + being away. I do feel a bit lost, sure (hope!) i'll find my path again soon. Cycle/pattern as before kinda makes me smile.

This week's featured soundtrack artists -

Arctic monkeys
We are Scientists
Subways
Test Icicles
Libertines

See, i'm still an Indie (a) kid at heart!

Speaking in tongues

2005-10-30T18:17:00.000+09:00

Oct 27 - 29
Strange. Everyone seems pleased to see me. Unusual. Slightly disconcerting. Paranoid. Why?. (nice though!).

Thursday woke late tired kovalum surf sun sorted work.

Washing machine wipe out about 4 times in the space of 30mins + i'm chokin' sea-water spit eyes stinging but actually fun. WavesWontWin!

Renjith (Ren....er.....Jith!!) is a really top bloke - he must be related to Happy guard somewhere 'cause he is always smiling/laughing. He works in the tech team and his shift mirrors mine (we are the only 2 in the office on lates - well except for the T-boy who's job is to bring me food/water/T/coffee during my shift!!!! IAMASPOILTCHILD!!!!!!). Arrive at office + greeted by Shaba!, Muhammed, Sanjith + Sameer who had come in especially to see me (? - i hope madness isn't catching). Chat about stuff + gave M book on London i'd picked him up for his 1st trip next month.

Malayalam dictionary growing:

Lekshmy - Hindu Goddess of Wealth

Nagar - Town (Renjith lives in Lekshmy Nagar!)

Pokoo - Go Away! (Handy for hawkers!)

Erive (Errivay) - Spicy

Aaharam - Food (also Bhakshanam - both fantastic sounding words - i'll use Aaharam as it is my new favourite word!)

Erive ulla aaharam....... Spicy food!!!!

Indian Curse/cuss - Oh Kashtam! - I am told this is not rude (gullible - doh!), but my colleagues/tutors in this new language are apparently embarrased to swear in front of me - Fuckin Nutters!!! - think/thought it means drat!/pity......Led to me saying loudly Oh! Kashtam just as Deepa had come over to welcome me back - silent pause is met with hysterical laughter that ripples across the office as chinese whispered versions of this obvious insult/request are relayed (Still not sure what i said, but smiled + nodded knowingly! - hope i didn't accidentally ask her for special favours..................Oh Kashtam!)

Tried to explain to new cook Aji that we wanted spicier food-Erive ulla aaharam. Hope my latest attempt is more succesful than when i asked for an electrician to fix the water pump in the atrium/fish pond only for a man to turn up shortly thereafter and replace our perfectly good computer modem! - As i was explaining a pained/disturbed/disgusted looked appeared on Aji's face, and in hindsight i think i was showing off my new Malayalam skills + used Oh Kashtam! in the same sentence as Erive ulla aaharam. Now Think Kashtam might mean Shit! - Think i might eat out for the next 2 months.

Athe - Yes
Illa or Alla - No

Friday Struck up conversation about stuff with Anupama (who sits next to me on day shift) + mistook name of BIG Bollywood star for Aloo Gobi (so famous, i mused, they named a veg dish after him) - silent pause is met with hysterical laughter that ripples across the office etc...as tales of the crazee Englander + his crap hearing/understanding amuse many. Mr Gobi (as i now call him) is apparently a big action star - not a spicy potato/cauliflower dish.

I had been invited to a wedding for the coming weekend, and i received my invite. Praveen (from the office) is wedding his beloved (well, he's met her twice) on Sunday. As it is a 4-5 hour destruction derby/trip to the venue, followed by the same hellride/dodgem/trip home (in a coach on roads i dont trust), i have declined,(i know it's a lame one, but i really need to catch up on sleep/India time zone + i'm sure my deathwish is snoozing somewhere on the fast lane of a busy Keralan road near here) I wish him + his all the v. best. Not 30 minutes later, I am invited to a wedding in November of 2 co-workers. Saiju (sigh Jew) is a lovely bloke, and one of my favourite Keralans....ever! (his soon-to-be is Sangeetha) - The wedding will be in Trivandrum (local) + i hope to be less light-weight + attend this time.

Saturday found us occupying sunbeds at Kovalum and back in the surf. Initial experiments with 'Illa' seems to discourage hawkers really quickly - they soon suss this by striking up chats in local language + taking the piss! - One man starts saying blubblubblubblubblub + sticking his tongue out to my mirth - consider just giving him some money as he's so funny!

Carlu is a fruit-seller who ALWAYS comes over and wont 'Pokoo' for ages. She calls me/us 'My Darling (s) + refuses to understand my garbled attempts at communication in Malayalam (which basically consist of 'ILLA' + POKOO!) - After about 20 mins she realised that i hadn't been lying, + really didnt want any fruit. She then began pleading poverty as there were so many other fruit-sellers + she had 6 mouths to feed after her husband died + her head/neck hurt - I tried to offer some free advice + suggested that maybe she should try selling something that no-one else offered, as opposed to competing with probably 30 other fruit-sellers. This was met with a bemused silence! - I was only trying to help, I also opined that at least with all that fruit about her family were having a healthy diet + YES i said, your neck probably is sore from walking about with a bucket of fruit on your head all day so perhaps you should try one of these (motioned to rucksack). She left. Thing is, I like Carlu, + I do buy fruit off her (and only her) on occasion - but if you just give in and start handing out money you will never get rid of her, or her friends/family/people who happen to be passing/hear of charity etc...The abject poverty that a lot of the locals live in is disturbing + upsetting, particularly when you are fortunate to have been born to a country of wealth, and i do really feel guilty because the wonderful/beautiful people here have so little materially, but are far richer than me or anyone i know in the generosity of their spirit + hearts. I'll be sure to give Carlu some cash later- just before i leave.

Sundown exit beach enter Beatles bar for beer/footie/snacks. Kingfishers gave way to cubalibras. CigaR (YEUCH!) Fish fingers; Fish-Fry Kerala stylee + Veg spring rolls all YUM! also ordered 'Chicken 65' (liked the name plus it had no description on the menu) - (hope it isn't chicken reheated that many times...!) tasted fantastic though, guess i'll find out sooner/later if it has been aged that long. Staggered back to cab 'The only Drunks in the village'

Bed.

Ou est le soleil?

2005-10-26T17:45:00.000+09:00

Oct 24 - 26

Flying round the world again + again might sound like fun.........'kay it is fun but as the miles pile the smile that flirts through the glaze seems slightly off like a splinter of lightning in gunmetal grey candyfloss clouds.

LHR = 450mins then Abu Dhabi pause delay motion Muscat sleep precious sleep Trivandrum.

New weather - overcast with a good chance of precipitation...... = cloudy with deluges of rain then cloudy then repeat then power out with added humidity on occasion. Really missed the mozzies! this time it's personal so peace treaties done + i'm out for 'em. Dont clap to splat - use hand like a claw + squish awaya.

New driver - i guess this one's just plain Angri - drives OK but look in his eye tells me he hates me, + probably everyone else too. Had a moment where it felt like someone kept pressing the slow-mo button.....weird......wired.

New Cook - Agioshi. Sounds Japanese but not.
Likes: Bollywood + Keralawood movies; cricket; cooking
Dislikes: People who get on the phone in front of him + order Pizza (!)

Come back Mr sun, please......only you can make me happy now!

Reasons to love Bali (pt 2)

2005-10-22T22:06:00.000+09:00

Any tips on how to use a camera would be GREAT-ly appreciated.....also on how to arrange flowers on a page? (nuff said!)

Bali = done Loved tick

UK = present

India = Tuesday

until then = ......Zzz....

modern 'bali' art (is rubbish?)

2005-10-22T21:47:00.000+09:00

Rock can be thus....

......see statues .......

..(Looks like someones pleased (...ing?) himself) -

Bali art is quite varied, and pretty ace too! - each town seems to specialise in a different style. I really like the stone statues + photo'ed loads. The wood carvings are just as cool (ugly?), and the boats are painted in a unique stylee Ieye:

Paintings range from trad to modern, with a touch of...

And, of course, the art of dance + song. I'd like to write a piece on the fantastic (seriously!) Kecak dance as performed by a 100 piece male choir (?)....

Chak Chak Chak Kecak Chak?

Chicky Chak Chak ........Kecak Chak?

Chickty Chickty Chickty Chak Chak

Kecak Chak?........KECAK CHAK!

Chak Chak Chak Kecak Chak?

Chickty Chickty Chickty Chak Chak

Chak Chickty Chak Kecak Chak?

Kecak Chak?........KECAK CHAK!

also popular is the slightly poppier....

chkchkchkchk

kecak!.........

KECAK!

chkchkchkchk

kecak!.........

KECAK! (repeat to fade....)

Also dance about in a Ramayana stylee - a TRULY memorable nite out?- KECAK CHAK!

Leave out the trooser snake jokes!

2005-10-22T21:27:00.000+09:00

Bali Nature - a many splendiferous thing it be! (says I!) - Tried to make friend + influence this lil' fella at Monkey Forest. (does he look happy to you?):

From fur to skin on a different scale:

Couldn't leave it at that, so here's a nice one of my new Python mate:

Met my new pal at Tanah Lot, a temple famous for many shots with beautiful sunset at rear shame it was raining when we got there. Figured B/W apt for this 1:

Couldn't let this critter segment lie without a personal fave.....

Gecko's rule!

Reasons to love Bali (pt 1)

2005-10-22T20:54:00.000+09:00

Bintang 3-d (don those funky lil green n' red glasses to view.....alternatively drink 6 cans o' the stuff!)

Pertiwi resort pool - just outside our room....the sky, like the water, = blue (+ warm!)....there is nobody else here......Wish you were......DONTCHA!

Barong play is classic dance representing fight 'twixt good + evil. Barong (mythological animal) is good. Rangda (!...?) (mythological monster....Raaaaarr!!) is evil one. Features impressive debut from none other than.....

a) Ali.......(after a few days with me en-solo!).......

b)........Tiger - (yikes....?) goodie though!

(Also features my favourite character - Dewi Kunti ! (REALLY?) leading to many moist moments for our female viewers!)

+ The gr8test single string geetar player in the southern hemisphere (possibly).....Performing live at a Barong dance venue near you now (if you live near Batubalan!).....twanggg!!!!

4 bintang + a nasi goreng to go......

2005-10-17T22:09:00.000+09:00

India.....UAE......Oman......Blighty......Singapore......Bali!

(Time=abstract concept at the mo.....feels later + a bit earlier all at once)

Me = FRIED.....

(as is the following):

SELAMAT PAGI...!!!!! (apparently) - Balispeak = mornin'

Sooooo....Bali,.....Beautiful Bali (well, the bit in the mid round Ubud's nice enough!) + our resort (pertiwi) is situated on the coolest street.....MONKEY FOREST ROAD - cool pool, + beautiful gardens full of colorful flowers where lizards sunbathe 'midst fish-filled ponds + fountains spout as frogs jump from lilly to pad + butterflies....um?....flutter?.....peace shattered by blunderingnoisyclumsytouristtwat with camera clickclickclicketyclick!

Ubud is all peace + quiet + hawkers + virgin sacrifices (probably). The stall lined streets sell wares produced locally + they are v.arty. I like the grotesque wood carved masks that they say scare off evil spirits (hasn't worked on Ali yet! (hahaha!))

The local folk offer quaint little 4"x4" bamboo trays to their gods with rice + cake + flowers + burning incense atop. They place these by statues; temples; on cars; tables - Hindu Elephant Like God Thing Ganesha......YOU ROCK!

Terror in Me Kazi! - (terima kasih?) i am told this means thanks. Havent plucked up the courage to use yet as:

a) I might laugh hysterically!
b)recipient may grab huge machete like object + rush to the bathroom expecting some pygmy-beast to attack
c)might receive in response 'flipflip hallyhallywagwag!' (or somesuch)

I triumphantly purchase an ugly bug-eyed mask (with fangs!) as Ali agreed to the deal as long as i dont put it up b4 xmas (as if!). The gappy toothed hawker had been bugging me for days - start price 200'000 - bought price 80'000...! (Barter that!!!) self-satisfied smile evaporated as waiter announces that a good deal would have been 50'000 - ho-hum 4 pound 50 for a hand-carved maskbatbugeyedfangything (in wood!) that will scare off bad spirits from its future home (somewhere at the back of a dusty cupboard still wrapped in this self-same newspaper) seemed a bit of a bargain to me!

Left Ubud + the midday drive to Sanur + our beach hotel was a fascinating slideshow of colours. Rice paddies shared land with temples + ravines + statues; as palms stood high in banana groves in a green tropical world under blu skies. Our environmentally friendly gas-guzzler belched the occasional (atmospheric?) smoke-ring into the mix as farmland became a tourist land; forest became settlement + nature gave way to billboards + shops + highways + hotels.

I'll miss You (u) bud! (geddit!)

Until much later.....

2005-10-06T17:22:00.000+09:00

So Back in good ol' Blighty - bit cold - lots of happy smiley faces (not!). Gr8 to see Ali and we are crying + laughing + together.

Off on holiday (Bali) soon, so no blog til India (a la Beasties) - for updates on the India adventure, Jam has an excellent blog (click here)

See y'all.......................Oh! - clippity clop; H'aight!

boards; automobiles; planes...& more planes

2005-10-06T16:47:00.000+09:00

Oct 4th - 5th
Blog start time 11 am (0630am GMT) Tuesday thru 0330 am Thursday (11pm GMT Wednesday):

Loooong day so seemed: Kovalum cloud 1 - 0 people (surf is ours!).....cloud break for sunset in waves = magical. Home.Pack.

9pm (1630pm GMT) Workshift=goodbyes to new friends (strange, seeems like i've known them so much longer). Taxi-Trivandrum airport check in + waitwaitwait.....flight-Abu Dhabi (4 hours/sleep little).

Abu Dhabi.Dutyfree.- hour flight Muscat; MADA obviously flying as landing=pants (scary) led Omanian(?) man sitting by me to keep looking at me repeating angrily LANDING!.....LANDING! nodded 'Yes.... Yes'......LANDING!....tried conversation (Omanian not good vs English single word = N:'At least we are alive' Omanian 'LANDING.....LANDING....LANDING!). Oman (time=fuckknows) best pannini in the world at costacoffee + frescato then waitwaitwait.....board.flight to LHR.

8 hours few passengers window to aisle seats mine = flight heaven. Indian guy talks of Hinduism + meditation.....he say ' Hindu's even meditate when driving' - I quip 'that explains a lot!' - blank look - retire to camp windowaisle + rest.

600mph 40k feet - interactive cameras show view from below plane/out front + satnav + window. Chase sun -70 outside clear skies landseapeacequiet til sol is a red line of fire on the horizon occasionally eclipsed by the wing and darkness has practically enveloped us. Satnav names the lights below as asian became middle eastern so east european becomes west + homecloser still. Tapestries of city lights web far below sparks as we graze cityscapes in our metal machine. Dark bulk of continent meet oily black of north sea ('where is my mind?.....way out in the water see it swimming' - Thnx Frank) circlesquare london then land-disembark-home (11pm GMT) (0330am tomorrow).

life; the universe; and some other stuff......

2005-10-04T15:32:00.000+09:00

Oct 3rd

Reading some entries is a sharp reminder to not update when a) tired or b) pished!

Clippity clop greeting - Another Monday arrives! happy faces workworkwork etc....

Sham - guitar teacher + real spiritual guy; had a chat about his life and path. His spiritual mentor/guide - A Guru who can read a person just by meeting them - knows your past; what you're like - who/what you will/can become + advises on the path to achieve life balance (enlightenment?). Interesting - Sham has been forewarned that he will need a life change shortly and will leave the people/places/influences he is familiar with behind. With this in mind he has forewarned our employer of his imminent departure + will someday soon leave - never to be heard from again. Apparently having little/no emotional ties is an important step on the road, as well as giving your life to help others and non-ambition. IT IS NOT A RELIGION - just a life choice. I think Sham is very brave, but you have to meet him to appreciate what a great bloke he is..................Good luck man!

Jam celebrated his birthday 2day - He is one one of the funniest blokes i know! impressions of Indian head-bobbin' + his old cross-eyed teacher have me in hysterics every time. Also introduced me to the joys of GTA:SA + Burnout........................H'aight!

I R Surf Bum....Like!

2005-10-04T06:27:00.000+09:00

Oct 2nd

Went to Kovalum. Board + Cool waves wash over and crash about me sometimes send tumblin' out of control other times i'm borne the wave ride me into shore like some kinda special one. I.......Like.......this.....never tire - the sun set over the distant sealine and slipped from view a beautiful vision from within the sea bodyboard + repeat to fade. (Think) i'm cool cos i can pick/catch the wave from the side + steer like a demon in the surf.

Late nite realisation that the brain behind Burnout games probably got the idea from driving hereabouts.....................Then drink+drink=sleep

This week's featured soundtrack artists - Jack Johnson & Hanne Huckelberg

of Backwaters; boats; (man) boobs + beer.....

2005-10-03T16:14:00.000+09:00

Part 2 - The continuing adventues of Poppadom Sawyer

2005-10-03T16:01:00.000+09:00

Oct 1
Life is a funny contrast - still slightly shaken from EMMF trip 1 when board the houseboat for backwater daytrip.

Slow seep down the waterways as tree lined banks and ramshackle dwellings with plethora of boats and people seep past. Away from the madness that is life to a serene; quietly beautiful land where the people scrape a living diving to the murky bottom for snails whilst others fish miles from the hustle of the world away.

Kids playing cricket all laugh and wave (tried to wave out!) at the funny white folk floating by - funny how children are the same all over the world - education in it's various forms is what F's us up + turns us into the cynical; selfish; greedy; misery beasts of adult. Rant over/soapbox put away as birds:kingfisher; parakeets; eagles amidst many others play in the sky and trees around. Lovely 10 hours.

Part 1 - The greatest worst driver in the world.....ever!

2005-10-03T15:56:00.000+09:00

Oct 1
2 sides 2 2day - 6 hours in car mit nutter + 10 hours in midst of serenity - total extremes!

200 am to bed - 530 alarm head muzzy shower and away.

EVANMADAMUDAFUGA! driver crazee dog tries to get us killed on 3 hour trip to Alappuzha. I'm wired tired still finding everything funny - Overtake bus emergency stops so we can duck in front of Bus careening towards us miss by inches is met by stunned silence from others + giggles from me (happened more than once! - replace bus with lorry; car; motorbike; rickshaw etc...).....

180 minutes of meep meep; swerve; brake; eyeshuttingly bad driving - I actually felt like kissing the ground when we arrived.

Shame as the surroundings were truly fantastic - Beautiful people wearing colourful sari's; Truckstyle lorries all individually painted with graffiti like images; endless palm groves and forests of trees like i've never seen (i took all this in with a 2 second glimpse away from the near carnage terror that was the front windscreen!)......

Least the outbound trip was daylight - Return worse (some vehicles no lights!) + the darkness seemed to make idiot more excited - I AM AMAZED THAT NOBODY GOT HURT DURING THE MAKING OF THIS JOURNEY! - Didn't tip the cat when we got back, still in sense of shock when to bed hours later....

Ease into it.

2005-10-03T02:08:00.000+09:00

Sept 29 - 30
2 days merge into one - a late followed by an early shift.....layers of tiredness magnified by a week of little Zzz's.

Click the right thumb/finger; then the left and then slap the left palm on the right fist - get it right and you get like a 'clipity clop' (cc) sort of sound = Suzie hates this = Jam + I love it. So we keep cc'ing. Decided it would be fun/extremely annoying/interesting social experiment (depending on perspective) to teach a few guys in the office our little game = NEW OFFICE CRAZE! - just about everyone is doing it now (Suzie going mad!) meetings are interrupted by new routines (clippity clippity clip clap clop + clap clippity clop clippity clop being 2 personal faves!) - When we greet friends at work - clippity clop. If something rox - clippity clop. Happy? - clippity clop.....think i might be going mad!, but it is a fun place to be hahaha!! - Jam + I are going to try + get them to say H'AIGHT! in a slightly high pitched voice next......

Reckon i've managed a max of 4 hours a night/day Zzz's this week - emotions a little screwed, keep finding everything v.funny. New Driver (i call him EVANMADA) insane! (but i'm still alive) = neardeath experiences making me laugh at the mo; missing Ali loads? = Hysterics!; Man U concede equaliser to Benfica = BIGbelly laugh! Might need to get hold of some pro-plus to iron out the edges...

Tryin' to get my head-bobbin' right - when the Indian guys you meet are happy/content/in agreement they dont nod, they Bob their heads from side2side in a zany kinda figureofeight. Slightly disconcerting to start with, but now it just makes me like them even more....they are, as a people - really lovely. Problem is, Head bobbin' is making me laugh (a lot!) at the mo (see above paragraph). This pleases the recipient of the laughter even more (as they are pleasing you in some way), which leads to even more frantic head bobbin' - look, i'm even laughing (tears) as i write this.....

A couple more guys from the office to introduce:

Vikas - already briefly mentioned as provider of BH beer, Vik is known as DJ Dingu due to his love/ambition of being a DJ. He is a really cool guy, and will hopefully be coming with us to Bangalore in a few weeks (he likes a drink apparently!) - general greeting either cc or YO DJ!

ManU - (formerly pronounced MANOO) Officially the man with the coolest name + Officially the worlds best Man U fan! - Got Jam to bring over a Man U mag for him as I said it had his name on it (which he loved! - he loves everything Utd!). Also loves cricket + Flintoff & Pieterson. Also BIG fan of cc'ing + introduced it to a recent technical meeting of about 15 staff (Legendary behaviour) - even senior management were doing it!. Wants me to participate in 6am Saturday cricket game with rest of staff......Hmmm?......6am?......Hmmm?.....

Funny names and stuff like that.....

2005-09-29T15:00:00.000+09:00

Sept 28
Lazy day feelin lethargy of late nights + pervading sense of sleep hanging round the edges.
Veg rice + curry brekkie sits heavily on stomach tired of digestion, so back to land of nod.

Chill round house glad of mozzie peace treaty (GTA:SA on PS2) then work.

Shaiju (shy jew!) is a second grade reiki (ray key!) student. There was a strike today which forced him to stay in the office.....for 24 hours!.....! - we had a chat about stuff + he practises Reiki (Ray key?) at one point he asked me to put my hand palm out in front of me, he put his palm close to mine, closed his eyes and after about 30 seconds had moved it about a foot away. He said that this was the edge of my energy/aura. Explanation about kirlian - (name of aura?) which i didnt understand (....really?). However, shall endeavour to learn more on this subject so i can talk more bollox about stuff no one else gets when i get back.

Facts about Ray Key:

It's Japanese
It's got a funny name
It takes a lot of practice
It's a life changing thingummyjig
It's cool! + Fun!
It's founder (discoverer?), Mr Key (?), is now v.rich
It gave me something to write about today
It's difficult staying awake at 5am when someone is enthusiastically explaining it - (but glad i did - i like the idea + Shy Jew has a certain aura.....+ is a cool bloke!)
It's a safe, gentle, non-invasive form of hands-on healing that increases energy, reduces pain, produces deep relaxation and a general feeling of well-being. Ray Key initiation attunes a practitioner to become a channel for the Ray Key energy and is a powerful, life-changing experience for growth along your spiritual path.......!
It's popular in India
It teaches you about Chakra (Chak...ra!) - the 7 points on your body that....er....control other parts....er....and where something about.....er.....something and stuff about life etc....(er?)
The Usui (You suey...!!!???) method of natural healing, as taught by Hawayo (the lads!) Takata, involves three levels or degrees. As soon as a practitioner has been initiated, the healing energy begins to flow. Level 1 Ray Key (!) connects the practitioner to the Ray Key (!) channel. Level II Ray Key (!) teaches the practitioner long distance or remote healing, and Level III Ray Key (!!!) initiates the practitioner to become a Ray Key (!!!!) Master and teacher. Each level requires its own set of attunements. Ray Key (!) initiations are for life - (!).

Ok - goto www.google.com and search for kirlian - there's images + stuff.....

I'll try and discover more on this mysterious concept during the course of my stay.....

Learnt to count 1 2 3 = oona (ooh nar!), renda (render?), Mona (moaner?) (so, render sandpiper's Garcon! - pronto....vamos,vamos etc....! biggidy bong (for dad!x))

Shaba also told me about a local martial art where the players can immobilise opponents by hitting pressure points on the body.....went to sleep thinking about statues of people i know............

Kovalum calling.......enjoy!

2005-09-27T13:13:00.000+09:00

Sept 27

Late shift last night, finished 630am......felt totally wired driving home in the dawn as too awake locals already alive to the new day. Shabiri had talked about arranged marriages - horoscopes; religion; caste; wealth all have to be right, then you have to be approved by the family of your prospective life partner! - seems like a lot of trouble for a ball + chain (HaHa!). Thing is religion is a way of life here, not just a badge that you wear when you feel like it. Belief is everything, and the religion is vital to the community and the way that people act and treat one another. I totally respect it, even if i have only scratched the surface of understanding it.

Afternoon/evening spent at Kovalum sun worship + chasing waves / Note: keep mouth shut! (unless you like the taste of seawater, cant be too healthy! (Yeuch!)). Best curry yet (tiger prawn) @ fusion then home change work. Oh! + another nice sunset.....

Stop your grinnin', & drop your linen....

2005-09-26T23:52:00.000+09:00

Sept 26

Equilibrium:Balance

My place; my mind; my body; my soul; my Peace
Respect Life, everything deserves a chance.
Never kill : big or small
Admire, and let live. Be ignored, left alone no-stingbites.

A split second before the slipper/flip-flop/sandal in my hand crushed the alien queen monster mosquito SPLAT! it flashed through my mind - NO! STOP - dont upset the balance. To this point i had not been bitten once, now 24 hours later, i am carrion to mozzie vultures. 20 at the last count - Itchybreakyscratchypicky sores.

Note to self: Respect the right to life, or deal with it's consequences.

Life's a beach

2005-09-26T19:08:00.000+09:00

Sept 24 - 25

Another weekend; another journey; another housemate (Jam)......another blinder!

2 weeks in, and I love the people; the place; the food; the climate; the flora; the fauna ('cept spider!); the sea, sand + surf. Only down is Ali isn't here to share it with me - in 35c heat she can still make me feel warm x.

Surreal guitar lesson broke my lethargy from early morn wake up for Jam's arrival. Crazee taxi avoids collisions and we are in Kovalum for late pm. 'Ocean Sparkle' rooms are about 200m from lighthouse beach; gr8 value with a really top bloke to look after us, dumped bags and off to explore.

Nice beach; great surf - polite 'NO' to hawkers and Fusion for food and drinks. Enjoyed sunset and 5 hours; 10 750cl kingfishers; 2 footie matches; 3 lunches; 2 pizzas and 4 can's of pepsi to go later we are light about 5 quid a head! (inc tip)

It's only 2130 but everywhere's closing, so back to rooms for:
DrinksCardsSpoofMagictrix

Someone (cant think who?) remarked that it was a shame that the Hotel pool next door was off limits...about 2 minutes later....over the wall, stripped & we're in! - Suzie tires of this game after about 10 minutes. Typical blokes, Jam + I are still happily swimming away over an hour later.Today's top tip - when drunk......Swim! i felt sober and woke next day without any hangover, gr8 if you can avoid death by inebriated drowning!

Tired man at rooms, usually in bed by 2130. We crash (slightly guiltily) at roughly 2am - He laughed when he saw us in the pool and bought out some towels, donated some vodka + bcardi 4 his troubles. Jam woke at 430am + kept trying the lightswitch next to his bed. Dishevelled tired man knocks on door, J opens to find switch was house alarm button! - Laugh, i thought i was going to combust!

Sunday 11am Extremely tired looking man fixes brekkie + it's off to the beach. Black sand; hawkers (NO!); Fantastic surf; body boarding; sunbathing - Kovalum rox!. 50m out the water is warm and waist-deep, the waves roll in about twice my height. Difficult to walk against the undertow that is creating these wonderful wakes. With board, if you catch one right, the surf carried you right in - Love It! - Feel like a beach bum = Home!.

Locals describe Kovalum as an expensive tourist-trap, but i felt it was pretty much perfect. To western wallets the prices are still stupidly cheap, if more expensive than Trivandrum. Apparently, B4 Tsunami, Kovalum had lots of sand (about 50m to the shoreline) and little surf. Now, the breakers roll in continuously and the beach is roughly 5m to the sea. Mother Nature has changed the geography and probably the clientele of Kovalum, but i loved it and cant wait to get back down there.

Slightly burnt we returned home. Decided to get a home-delivery for food (currently no cook as some selfish B got him sacked for nickin'). Hysterical telephone order led to delivery of burgers & sarnies (about 3 quids worth) - which i am still amazed that they a) got right! + b)found us (after repeating our tel No; spelling out our address + confirming our order countless times unsuccessfully, even I didn't know where i was!)

This week's featured soundtrack artist - Arcade fire.
http://www.arcadefire.com

Lessons learned from Rocky I - V

2005-09-24T00:02:00.000+09:00

23 Sept

To think the day started so well….

After 10 minutes of watching the new 3 stooges’ attempt at solving our power shortage, I decided to make myself scarce (or burst!) – I’m no electrician, but I cant see how the 3 (cook; cleaner; spider guard) thought going to every light switch and turning them on and off would solve the problem. On their third circuit, and for the sake of my sanity, I left for the safety of the sundeck.

Then everything changed………………..(don’t laugh at the bits where I'm trying to act hard!)

Now, 2 days ago I discovered that my wallet was short of some cash (1500 rupees)- So I laid a trap, and today it was sprung. Initially im not sure whether the cook or cleaner has light fingers, but one of them has stolen from me & I'm not happy about it! Also - Upset Happy Security guard which made me sad.

Firstly, I was suspicious because Suzie & I had changed the same money last week; we have gone Dutch on everything; & I knew when I returned from the spa that I had over 10k rupees in my wallet. Day B4 yesterday just B4 work, I checked my stash and it was about 8.5K - I asked Suze how much she had left, she said over 10 (which made sense), and mine should have been the same (roughly). So, a la sherlock, I took all my big notes out, locked them in my case, and left 640 rupees (a figure that I wrote down – just to be sure). Yesterday nothing, no spending, same amount in wallet. For some reason as soon as I came in from the sundeck today I just knew something had changed (just a feeling-damn sixth sense!) - wallet is 100 rupees light - I was angry because I couldn't believe they had been so fekin stupid (more than the fact that the stuff had been nicked) - as Suzie said, what makes it worse is I've been really friendly to them....just goes to show.

Well, I was obviously pissed off that someone was going into my room to steal, there was no sign of cook - he had gone out, and I told the cleaner (in front of happy and spider guard) that I was tempted to knock his fekin block off (motioning fist to his face) then I told the guards to get him out of the house b4 I did. (I think I had my top off too, which must have really scared him…………!)

I then had a shower to cool down & dodged artfully downstairs to the security office to point out that they should also be pissed off as whoever had stolen obviously had no respect for them either as it made them look bad. There mood went from serious to angry, i didnt like having a go in front of Happy, or spider for that matter, as they are smashing blokes.

I did say that if my money was returned to Rajeev (not-so happy guard), then I would consider letting it go (frustrating thing is if they had asked, I would have given them some money - stupid c's) - anyway b4 I came to work I explained to Rajeev that I didn't blame him, and he said that he liked my character and was still very sorry for what had happened (not smiling!, obviously feeling blamed!).

Look's like it was Arun the cook...... Yeah, I'm pretty gutted - He got back to the house drunk today. He was also wearing a new shirt yesterday, which is kind of rubbing my nose in it. Apparently they have also been helping themselves to our booze & soft drinks which is also a nono. Deepa was going to get him to stay to try to catch him red-handed, but I said it would be best if he was gone now as if I saw him later I would probably kick the crap out of him. I'm not sure whether the cleaner was innocent or no, but I guess he's going to get the boot too, which I feel kind of guilty about......kind-of (ho-hum!)

Don't think it'll get me my money back though......Dont think I'm going to be happy with ANYBODY going into my room either!

Still, I guess that’s kind of the end of a chapter so heyho heyho its off to work we go…..

Meep Meeeep! – like a million road runners on heat. Look at me; I’m here; I’m behind you; watch out!; don’t hit me; outoftheway – all kids who remember having there first bike bell or honka will relate.

The prime rule of driving is don’t hit anything – here, this is the only rule. Give way means don’t slow down at a junction and pray that the other potholes;animals; pedestrians;vehicles can be avoided. Oh! Along with meep meeeep! Parp parp WAAAAAAAH! (and the occasional screech).

It’s the overtaking on blind bends that’s the real rush, along with under taking. Most roads don’t have paths at the side, so pedestrians use them as well as everything else. I have seen 3 cars 1 bike and a pedestrian pass simultaneously on what we would consider a ‘b’ road width (2 lane) – Remember the prime rule!

Home 2nite and happy guard looks well sad, so i pop down for a chat. I tell him that 2day was a bad day as he had been let down by someone he trusted & liked (Cook), but that i was glad for all his help and wouldn't want anyone else looking after us - I actually thought he was going to cry. He said he felt it was both of them. I just want him to be happy so must try and find a way to cheer him up over the weekend.....maybe just making myself scarce might work! - To bed feeling low because happy guard is sad.........

Forgive me father....

2005-09-22T17:29:00.000+09:00

Sept 22
......................it's been 2 weeks since my last:

Meat
Chicken ('cept once - I was...hungry; it was....Yum)
Guinness (there are tears; they are falling)
Combo of the above = BigBadWind!

Kiss........................

car drive (or travelled in car without a pervading sense of doom, or desperate need to scream/poop/cry)

shampoo & condition - 'i'm sure my hair has never been so lovely and clean, it shines in the hot sun, and when i wake in the morning and to mirror, it takes me a while to recognise myself, what with the pillow and bedsheets stuck to my head'

grocery shop
cook/wash up/dry up/put away - Thnx cook! We also have a cleaner, who's name i dont know yet, and a gardener/handyman - so i dont actually have to do squat! I just spend all day sitting around in the sun, clicking my fingers and acting like the man from whose arse the sun shone - what a W*NK*R!)

bullshit line - ok maybe that's taking things too far, but i have cut down....a bit.

Ben + Jerrys cherry Garcia or caramel choochoo / Haagen Daaz Cookies + cream (stomach rumbles; mouth waters)

(Was also gonna write negative thought.....!)

Walked to shops down road for first time - spent 2 minutes wandering around wondering why i bothered - reminds me of a wild west centre (without a saloon!) but with litter everywhere - shops sell fresh fruit & veg, reckon we would also be able to get the v. bare essentials - 200m home on foot dodging rickshaws.

Shabirinath (Shabiri - famous mountain where god lived; nath - leader) who i call SHABA! and Saiju were talking last night about the Tsunami. I had just been given a gift of a tiny doll that has been handmade by fisherwomen of the tsunami - called tsunamika (http://www.tsunamika.com/) - I guess the proceeds of which went to the relief fund but its touching that even people who have so little will still give to those who have less. Apparently a town 60km southwest of here completely vanished in the waves wake - fathers, mothers, children - everybody gone. The Families all got together at Xmas and went to the beach as they did every year, now there is space + void where once there was hope + joy.

Shabiri has a home video that a friend of his shot in the aftermath that he wants to show me, said it explains better than his words ever could............Dont want to see, but i'll watch it, just to understand a little, to know.................................

Have a Nice Day!...............

tock tick tock tick

2005-09-21T19:07:00.000+09:00

Sept 21
4am finished - tired
drop off Shabiri - mud track - narrow lanes - houses crammed - surreal shantyshacks as wild dogs bark then in packs chased car.
on - dog-tired - blur past people walking (exercising?) at 415 with cane and stix on deserted roads of a stinking comatose city lit by the moon and an occasional streetlight flicker, and on - more faces frown as switched on by the headlights, then off again in a moment as we careen past on rain soaked roads past litter shit + roadkill - on + on, closer + closer To home; Bed; Sleep.....

Wake; Tired; 11am; towel-suncream-sundeck; 30c; Gazza biography finished - memory of a Saturday in '96 with J + Shave + Billy 'cast + Bogroll + Beer + That Goal + Joy. Try to think if i ever saw Gazzza play live & draw a blank - Shame; genius 10th Dan Black-belt Grandmaster of the game = Legend.

Gittar riff's Am to Em to C - 4pm tired; bed; sleep; darkness - wake-eat-crashtestdummydrive-now wide awake-work.......

Today's Malayalam as provided by MAD driver (what was i thinking talking to him when all his concentration should have been on LOOKOUTFORTHATBIKECARDOGRICKSHAWLORRYBUSPOTHOLEMANWOMANCHILDCAT):

maya - rain
suryen - sun
chundren - moon
valuthe (vallootay) - big
cherathue - small

(will try to ask cook to make a valuthe choodu marsala!)

Coo coo Ca choo!

2005-09-20T18:17:00.000+09:00

Sept 20
Cook Rollicking for uncleanliness was obviously my fault - I am greeted with jabberjabberjabber complaint - jabberjabberjabber - office - jabberjabberjabber. The kitchen was a hive of ants; fruit flies & Mozzies (+ roaches too i dont doubt!). My Malayalam for unhygienic; health standards; food poisoning; disease is ropey so had asked Deepa from office to explain. Explanation obviously took the form of a right set-to over the coals & were not appreciated - Think cook now hates me.

Feel a need for Reiki in my life though morning visit to Artha Daylee Reiki centre didn't inspire me to enrol. Sit down strumming Gittar & 'I am the Eggman' - Thought about getting cook to sing and happy guard to....look happy. Maybe form a bond (band!) and cook will have a new focus for his ire. Thought process drifts to happy guard strumming and singing by gate & earning a few extra rupees for himself from passersby - immediately leapt up and ran out to find Rajeev (Happy guard) to explain my plan. He Laughed! (he's so happy!) I dont think he really understood but my impersonation was award worthy! Shall endeavour to seek out Happy guard at the first signs of sadness or negativity as he makes me smile!

Consideration of eating out whilst cook calms down abruptly halted as rumbling questions from stomach are answered by cook's call to lunch - i am already tikka Jalfrezi; Vindaloo; bombay aloo sweating as i take my seat and brave cooks food. Chapatti with veggie Marsala (bloomin' lovely!) Best curry i've had yet - and i am convinced he doesn't hold a grudge (unless he is trying to get my guard down (shut up! - stupid paranoia!)) seems maybe all is not as it seems.....think i'll sleep with the door locked 2nite.

To all my friends in cold places.....look at me sat over here smilin'

2005-09-20T17:18:00.000+09:00

Owl Ariyaamo?

2005-09-20T13:12:00.000+09:00

Sept 19
Had a strange dream of a TV broadcast: train carriage with people trapped in cars beneath as then camera focuses in on petrified faces in vehicles just as weight becomes too much & crushes all below - woke in sweat, maybe because of heat but dream vision freaked me out.

A new resident in the bathroom is a shy ghecko. I know he's there, and i know that he knows i know he's there, and i know that he knows that i know that he knows that i know he's there (etc.....) Have tried unsuccessful (thus far!) attempt at communication. He doesn't speak any language i am familiar with. w/e flashback remember drunken attempt to coax fruitbats down from palms on Saturday. I felt the Albino dialect worked best with this regions variety.

Cook taught me 'Shamikkanam' which means sorry. I thought he wanted me to apologise for my behaviour, but having just finished eating today's concoction think it was more of an advance warning! - RIP Mr PoopooLoo (again!) i suspect - no wonder Ghecko hides.....

Final Malayalam for the day, especially for the boys in rm2 - English Ariyaamo.......Do you speak English?

3 cheers for the white skinned beast....HipHip

2005-09-19T15:44:00.000+09:00

Sept 17 - 18
Farewell to cook and Happy guard and it's shit or bust on the doyoufeellucky 90 minute dodgem ride to Kollam. Chalet is dark, cool and has really nice views over Lake Ashtamudi. Poolside skin sees sun for first time and blinding reflection forces other guests to don dark shades gangsta stylee until quickly white became red.

Quick dip in green soup was refreshing (kind of) but kept mouth shut for fear of death or worse. Decided to take slow boat punted by man onto lake to see sunset - Nice! - (note funny how lake colour = pool colour....hmm?).

Night - Haunting voices over lake from temple on far shore whilst clouds race over the full moon above gave the sensation of travelling at a million MPH (or maybe it was the drink?)

Bacardi Hangover is interrupted at too early a.m. telcall 'you want massage?' - 'cant remember response, either: 'no- Alka seltzer, Nurofen or H-O-T-D'; '.... off!' or somesuch. Silence.....sleep.

Hours later and i'm 'back in the room', off to massage centre to book in and maybe apologise depending on reaction to earlier response that i cant remember. After entry to the masseur's little den, ordered to 'STRIP - ALL' and then directed to don a piece of string (round waist) with a strip of linen that hung down the front and was pulled (sharply - breathe quickly) between my legs and tucked under the string at the back. Smile/laugh as i envision (resemble?) a sumo wrestler in a thong (with a high voice!).

Following hour massage was GR8 - still feel chilled hours later. Only problem = Oil!, basically full body massage including head (on shoulders!) and hair!. Body oil came off easily with soap, same oil in hair obviously doesn't as 5 showers later I am 'slick with the delightful fragrance of chestnut oil! (good for stir fry!) - seems to keep mozzies away though......& everything/one else for that matter!

Stock car return to relaxed w/e i feel in a malaise.......

First week's featured soundtrack artist - Sufjan Stevens. http://sufjan.com/

Wish you were here......(room 2)

2005-09-17T03:37:00.000+09:00

Sept 16
Do you speak Malayalam? Do I f***. Strange day - strange vibe.

Got up - baffled cook - ate breakfast - got camera - went for walk - baffled cook and security guard - walked - baffled fruit stand salesman - never owned this many bananas - baffled security guard - baffled cook.

Baffled cook - ate veggie korma lunch (that i had earlier (i thought) explained we wouldn't need today) - glad i ate korma as it was delish - baffled cook - baffled MAD driver - wondered how it is we get to work each day in one piece (again) - baffled Sham from work (I really like Sham -v.interesting character - more later!) - learnt Ettu (eight) Kaali (leg) is spider in Malayalam - explained that the spider from last night lost a leg in its tussle with the security guard and asked what it's name was now?- baffled everybody.

I learnt today that the spider from last night is quite common in these parts. It is v. small when it comes out of the egg, and dies just 1 month later. Next time I see one i will rugby tackle it and throw it out myself for extra man points! (will make up for those i lost yesterday when i was too chicken!)

This weekend Suzie and I are going to http://www.aquasereneindia.com/ for a couple of days chill out. So i'll see you later with updates.......

Oh!, almost forgot, Thnx 4 the messages - Gay Q_____ G__!

Onam!....Oh Man!

2005-09-16T04:45:00.000+09:00

Sept 15
The image to the left is the traditional Onam! feast that Suzie endured and i loved from yesterday - still picking food out my finger nails!

The melatonin-pepto bismal-paludrine-various alcohol cocktail seems to be kicking in. Dazed stagger to kitchen for brekkie is abruptly shattered by cook who appears from nowhere with a HAPPY Onam! - He had made us an Onam treat which i am too polite to decline. After being force fed fish egg surprise I spend some energy concentrating on not emptying the contents of my stomach, whilst appearing to enjoy the culinary delight that i cant seem to swallow.

Onam! is a festival that is only celebrated in Kerala. It originated as a joyous annual reminiscence of the golden rule of King Mahabali, a mythical king, who ruled Kerala a very long time ago. It recalls the sacrifice of the great king, his true devotion to God, his human pride and his ultimate redemption. This king once ruled over the Keralites during the Golden Age before caste existed, "when all men were equal, when no one was poor, when there was neither theft nor dread of thieves".

Facts and fables blend as Kerala celebrates this royal return, year after year with the festivities of Onam. Legend has it that the gods plotted against Mahabali to end his reign. For this they sent Lord Vishnu to earth in the form of a dwarf Brahmin. But before being trampled down to the netherworld, Vishnu granted the king's sole wish: To visit his land and people once every year.

Although this festival has its origin in Hindu mythology, Onam is for all people of all class and creed. Hindus, Muslims and Christians, the wealthy and the downtrodden,all celebrate Onam with equal fervor. The secular character of Onam is peculiar to this land where unity had always coexisted with diversity, especially during festivals, when people come together to celebrate life's unlimited joys.

Yippee do! - it was nice spending the day on my own in the office! - note to self learn malayalam for Humbug!

Returned home to find the worlds biggest spider had taken up residence in my bathroom. Thought about kekking myself, but when he smiled at me I realised he only wanted me to take his picture, so here it is......(will sleep with the light on 2nite!)

Hand (y) tips for the beginner......

2005-09-15T05:47:00.000+09:00

Sept 14
For this mornin’s wacky races we came to work by a different route. We seem to have 2 drivers (the first i know as MAD as he races a large people carrier with us in it narrowly escaping death (or at least vehicle damage) for the entire 30 minute journey. The second is simply MADDER (I call him MADA as it has a local flavour to it!), He drives a Ka…..fast. I don’t know how we manage to get here in one piece, but the small parts of the journey where I have my eyes open are really quite exciting). Today’s route took us through forests of palms and my first view of the backwaters which looked lovely.

On arrival i was greeted by my colleagues who are excited about the Onam festival - MERRY ONAM! I chirped to blank looks and awkward silences. Yesterday myself and Suzie (colleague from UK) were invited to a special Onam meal - basically we would eat with the guys from the Indian office (i will do a seperate post of the whole Onam deal 2morrow). Suzie quite fancied sandwiches, so i volunteered us both to the full Onam meal haha! - basically eating a curry with the right hand (left a nono due to poop cleanie) off of a banana leaf - haven't had this much fun with food since.....I just wanted to WEAR IT! - nuff said. (Suzie now hates me!)
Forgot to mention desert which was basically milk - eat that with your hand in front of an audience and tell me it isnt funny.

Learnt some new Mandalayalam today (for cook):
Nalai kanam - See you 2morrow
Pinnai kanam - see you later
Choodu - Hot!
Thanuttu - cold

I am confident that i will be able to ask the cook for cold water (thanuttu villem). But i am also confident that i could go to the fridge and pour myself a glass......i want to get a laugh out of him sometime soon though, so might greet him with 'Pinnai kanam' and then run off and hide for an hour whilst he tries to work out what planet i actually live on.

Quick note about a couple of guys from the office - Dennis & Vikas - they had finished for the day, and now have 4 days off due to Onam!. (imagine doing this at 5pm on a friday BH w/e) - i had asked them where i could get beer, and they went off and returned with a case of sandpiper (took them ages!) - legends!

After work MADA careened through pot-holed, dog-sleeping-in-the-road-look-out-eyesshutcantseenowallispeaceful roads to the regency where i met some Alamyites for a few drinks. Got invited to an Indian wedding on Oct 30th (1000 people!! (so i must be really important!!!....haha!)). Looking 4ward to it though as im pretty sure 99.9% of the congregation dont drink, and i've never been sober at a wedding (and dont ever intend to be!). On the way home Suzie whispered (shouted) in my ear about being inappropriate in front of our Indian colleagues after asking them numerous questions about arranged marriages (whilst thinking we were in a taxi), i had earlier gratefully accepted a lift home by our colleague Prasanna! ..... awopdiddydiddyandahoohaheyho!

Dastardly an' Muttley

2005-09-14T05:47:00.000+09:00

Sept 13
First - I write how i think, dont think how i write!

The drivin' here is wacky races - serious fun but im amazed no-one gets hurt - like stock car but with pedestrians; bikes; cars; lorries; tuktuk's and buses. Major dodgems on a global scale I WANT A GO!

Might have to play on the roads later, when no-ones watching.

First words learnt for the cook:

Namaste - Greetings
Narney-Thank you
Vellum-Water

I will say hi to Arun the cook in the morning, order water for breakfast (just to fool him!) and then say thanks - I might even surprise the happy security guard with a quick Namaskaram before diving off into the bushes in search of ghecko's.

Tomorrow is a big day in Kerala as we are in the festival of Onam - will find out what its all about and update soon........Ding Dang Do!

feelin' down

2005-09-14T03:33:00.000+09:00

Sept 13
Funny how small things awaken nostalgia. last night i cried myself to sleep - i feel kind of glad about it cause it's been so long i wasn't sure i ever would again, and knowing you can cry is a sign that at least the most basic emotional functions are still working. I aim to laugh myself to sleep someday soon, probably be the catalyst to complete madness (watch this space).
Thing is that absence does make the heart grow fonder. When your apart from someone, last night i felt it in every bone, sinew and through all the mucky stuff -i ached, and whilst it confirmed a lot of things that made me glad, in turn her not being there to share it made me sad- feels like i'm missing a heartbeat.

At least when i woke the cook was soon on hand to brighten my morning. After convincing him that i only wanted corn flakes (not omelette; fried egg; indian vegetables; bread just corn flakes), I explained away his blank look with the corn flakes; milk and a bowl explanation. When he returned 10 minutes later with a corn flake broth consisting of hot milk, CF and sugar i didn't know where to look. I almost ate it, but figured i didn't want to be eating this every day for the next 3 months so talked him through it (bowl - corn flakes - little milk - serve). Bless him, i shall endeavour to learn a few words of mandalayalam so that we can at least try and laugh about it.

2005-09-13T05:08:00.000+09:00

This is for Ali....

Not so long ago in a place quite a long way away...

2005-09-13T04:05:00.000+09:00

Sept 9 -
Flight Abu Dhabi good, slept some- Abu Dhabi airport v.nice and modern – Piano bar for beers.

Flight Muscat short 45 mins wait on plane as millions of people came onboard to clean then on to Trivandrum – only 3 hours but seemed like an age.

Sept 10
First impression shanty like with rain and puddles and plenty of wet people and no law on the roads basically just don’t hit anything but exciting and new and not unlike Samui (which is a GOOD thing).

Then the house which is a mansion down a crappy road that doesn’t look much but the security guard whose name I forget (Raajeesh?) is really nice and the house is like huge with 4 bedrooms all big with a/c and fans and en suite so you have your own space (to share with the mozzies) no bites as yet but I am wearing a coat of Jungle repellant (and smell v.nice).

First meal out and sand piper beer is the rox – beats kingfisher – and veggie curries with names like daal and aloo gobi (which I know you’d all love) and some other dips and fish on sticks that was really good then home to mozzies and foottie on tv (result!!) and bed.

Sept 11 -
Woken up (feeling shite) by our new cook who introduces himself (Arun) by shouting through the window MADAM!, MADAM! (knew I should have got that haircut) – pepto bismal is the dogs and sorts out tummy pronto! – just as well I think. Then we are well fed by our chef – veggie rice and fresh pineapple juice. Quick look round the garden (coconuts!) and nice flowers that I photo’ed for Ali and will try to send a different one each day if I can.

Then we went for a walk and ended up at an aquarium and flower show which cost us about 10p each to get into and was similar to walking around Millets (garden centre) which was kinda funny as everybody there was really making a big deal of it. Bought a Mango ice cream for about 2p which was nice. The festival of Onam is this week, I think it’s a bit like xmas as there are lots of lights and decorations everywhere.

Meal out in evening to Kovalum where the waves came crashing onto the beach through mist and I really liked the atmosphere. Saw first brit tourists at ‘FUSION’ where the food was lovely – wait till you try the cheese balls & fish fingers (oo-er x 2). Couple of Kingfishers as sand piper wasn’t available (boo!) Then home to mozzies and power cut that sent me to bed as power out was more like it – seems like it rains and the power just gives up which is also kind of funny (glad I packed the torch!)

Sept 12
Woke up after sleeping well (melatonin is the new bomb!) – felt totally wired! – donned camera and chased butterflies and lizards around the garden (took picture of 1 lizard that freaks me out – will send...maybe) complete communication breakdown with the cook led to me being served 3 times as much food for brekkie as I thought I ordered – he looked well peeved poor chap, and it was really nice omelette and some Indian veggie thing that I cant remember. So after upsetting the only person I had come into contact with, I decided to slink off back to my room. Then came out for work, and I’m just walking out the door when my mate the cook calls me into the kitchen – he had prepared lunch for us!!!! – didn’t have time to eat and I thought I was about to wear the lovely curry he had made! – I feel really guilty (even though I’m smilin’) so might have to brush up on some basic Malayalam, or hire a translator.

Onto the office and introductions to so many people whose names all kind of sound alike, think it would take me the duration of the trip to remember the who's who but they are all really friendly. Nothing much happened during the day - S.S.D.D but it was cool to be able to e-mail people from home. POWER OUT call forced us home where chef had left us some really nice spring rolls....Bless 'im.