Wish you were here......(room 2)

Sept 16
Do you speak Malayalam? Do I f***. Strange day - strange vibe.

Got up - baffled cook - ate breakfast - got camera - went for walk - baffled cook and security guard - walked - baffled fruit stand salesman - never owned this many bananas - baffled security guard - baffled cook.

Baffled cook - ate veggie korma lunch (that i had earlier (i thought) explained we wouldn't need today) - glad i ate korma as it was delish - baffled cook - baffled MAD driver - wondered how it is we get to work each day in one piece (again) - baffled Sham from work (I really like Sham -v.interesting character - more later!) - learnt Ettu (eight) Kaali (leg) is spider in Malayalam - explained that the spider from last night lost a leg in its tussle with the security guard and asked what it's name was now?- baffled everybody.

I learnt today that the spider from last night is quite common in these parts. It is v. small when it comes out of the egg, and dies just 1 month later. Next time I see one i will rugby tackle it and throw it out myself for extra man points! (will make up for those i lost yesterday when i was too chicken!)

This weekend Suzie and I are going to http://www.aquasereneindia.com/ for a couple of days chill out. So i'll see you later with updates.......

Oh!, almost forgot, Thnx 4 the messages - Gay Q_____ G__!

Onam!....Oh Man!

Sept 15
The image to the left is the traditional Onam! feast that Suzie endured and i loved from yesterday - still picking food out my finger nails!

The melatonin-pepto bismal-paludrine-various alcohol cocktail seems to be kicking in. Dazed stagger to kitchen for brekkie is abruptly shattered by cook who appears from nowhere with a HAPPY Onam! - He had made us an Onam treat which i am too polite to decline. After being force fed fish egg surprise I spend some energy concentrating on not emptying the contents of my stomach, whilst appearing to enjoy the culinary delight that i cant seem to swallow.

Onam! is a festival that is only celebrated in Kerala. It originated as a joyous annual reminiscence of the golden rule of King Mahabali, a mythical king, who ruled Kerala a very long time ago. It recalls the sacrifice of the great king, his true devotion to God, his human pride and his ultimate redemption. This king once ruled over the Keralites during the Golden Age before caste existed, "when all men were equal, when no one was poor, when there was neither theft nor dread of thieves".

Facts and fables blend as Kerala celebrates this royal return, year after year with the festivities of Onam. Legend has it that the gods plotted against Mahabali to end his reign. For this they sent Lord Vishnu to earth in the form of a dwarf Brahmin. But before being trampled down to the netherworld, Vishnu granted the king's sole wish: To visit his land and people once every year.

Although this festival has its origin in Hindu mythology, Onam is for all people of all class and creed. Hindus, Muslims and Christians, the wealthy and the downtrodden,all celebrate Onam with equal fervor. The secular character of Onam is peculiar to this land where unity had always coexisted with diversity, especially during festivals, when people come together to celebrate life's unlimited joys.

Yippee do! - it was nice spending the day on my own in the office! - note to self learn malayalam for Humbug!

Returned home to find the worlds biggest spider had taken up residence in my bathroom. Thought about kekking myself, but when he smiled at me I realised he only wanted me to take his picture, so here it is......(will sleep with the light on 2nite!)

Hand (y) tips for the beginner......

Sept 14
For this mornin’s wacky races we came to work by a different route. We seem to have 2 drivers (the first i know as MAD as he races a large people carrier with us in it narrowly escaping death (or at least vehicle damage) for the entire 30 minute journey. The second is simply MADDER (I call him MADA as it has a local flavour to it!), He drives a Ka…..fast. I don’t know how we manage to get here in one piece, but the small parts of the journey where I have my eyes open are really quite exciting). Today’s route took us through forests of palms and my first view of the backwaters which looked lovely.

On arrival i was greeted by my colleagues who are excited about the Onam festival - MERRY ONAM! I chirped to blank looks and awkward silences. Yesterday myself and Suzie (colleague from UK) were invited to a special Onam meal - basically we would eat with the guys from the Indian office (i will do a seperate post of the whole Onam deal 2morrow). Suzie quite fancied sandwiches, so i volunteered us both to the full Onam meal haha! - basically eating a curry with the right hand (left a nono due to poop cleanie) off of a banana leaf - haven't had this much fun with food since.....I just wanted to WEAR IT! - nuff said. (Suzie now hates me!)
Forgot to mention desert which was basically milk - eat that with your hand in front of an audience and tell me it isnt funny.

Learnt some new Mandalayalam today (for cook):
Nalai kanam - See you 2morrow
Pinnai kanam - see you later
Choodu - Hot!
Thanuttu - cold

I am confident that i will be able to ask the cook for cold water (thanuttu villem). But i am also confident that i could go to the fridge and pour myself a glass......i want to get a laugh out of him sometime soon though, so might greet him with 'Pinnai kanam' and then run off and hide for an hour whilst he tries to work out what planet i actually live on.

Quick note about a couple of guys from the office - Dennis & Vikas - they had finished for the day, and now have 4 days off due to Onam!. (imagine doing this at 5pm on a friday BH w/e) - i had asked them where i could get beer, and they went off and returned with a case of sandpiper (took them ages!) - legends!

After work MADA careened through pot-holed, dog-sleeping-in-the-road-look-out-eyesshutcantseenowallispeaceful roads to the regency where i met some Alamyites for a few drinks. Got invited to an Indian wedding on Oct 30th (1000 people!! (so i must be really important!!!....haha!)). Looking 4ward to it though as im pretty sure 99.9% of the congregation dont drink, and i've never been sober at a wedding (and dont ever intend to be!). On the way home Suzie whispered (shouted) in my ear about being inappropriate in front of our Indian colleagues after asking them numerous questions about arranged marriages (whilst thinking we were in a taxi), i had earlier gratefully accepted a lift home by our colleague Prasanna! ..... awopdiddydiddyandahoohaheyho!

Dastardly an' Muttley

Sept 13
First - I write how i think, dont think how i write!

The drivin' here is wacky races - serious fun but im amazed no-one gets hurt - like stock car but with pedestrians; bikes; cars; lorries; tuktuk's and buses. Major dodgems on a global scale I WANT A GO!

Might have to play on the roads later, when no-ones watching.

First words learnt for the cook:

Namaste - Greetings
Narney-Thank you
Vellum-Water

I will say hi to Arun the cook in the morning, order water for breakfast (just to fool him!) and then say thanks - I might even surprise the happy security guard with a quick Namaskaram before diving off into the bushes in search of ghecko's.

Tomorrow is a big day in Kerala as we are in the festival of Onam - will find out what its all about and update soon........Ding Dang Do!

feelin' down

Sept 13
Funny how small things awaken nostalgia. last night i cried myself to sleep - i feel kind of glad about it cause it's been so long i wasn't sure i ever would again, and knowing you can cry is a sign that at least the most basic emotional functions are still working. I aim to laugh myself to sleep someday soon, probably be the catalyst to complete madness (watch this space).
Thing is that absence does make the heart grow fonder. When your apart from someone, last night i felt it in every bone, sinew and through all the mucky stuff -i ached, and whilst it confirmed a lot of things that made me glad, in turn her not being there to share it made me sad- feels like i'm missing a heartbeat.

At least when i woke the cook was soon on hand to brighten my morning. After convincing him that i only wanted corn flakes (not omelette; fried egg; indian vegetables; bread just corn flakes), I explained away his blank look with the corn flakes; milk and a bowl explanation. When he returned 10 minutes later with a corn flake broth consisting of hot milk, CF and sugar i didn't know where to look. I almost ate it, but figured i didn't want to be eating this every day for the next 3 months so talked him through it (bowl - corn flakes - little milk - serve). Bless him, i shall endeavour to learn a few words of mandalayalam so that we can at least try and laugh about it.

This is for Ali....

Not so long ago in a place quite a long way away...

Sept 9 -
Flight Abu Dhabi good, slept some- Abu Dhabi airport v.nice and modern – Piano bar for beers.

Flight Muscat short 45 mins wait on plane as millions of people came onboard to clean then on to Trivandrum – only 3 hours but seemed like an age.

Sept 10
First impression shanty like with rain and puddles and plenty of wet people and no law on the roads basically just don’t hit anything but exciting and new and not unlike Samui (which is a GOOD thing).

Then the house which is a mansion down a crappy road that doesn’t look much but the security guard whose name I forget (Raajeesh?) is really nice and the house is like huge with 4 bedrooms all big with a/c and fans and en suite so you have your own space (to share with the mozzies) no bites as yet but I am wearing a coat of Jungle repellant (and smell v.nice).

First meal out and sand piper beer is the rox – beats kingfisher – and veggie curries with names like daal and aloo gobi (which I know you’d all love) and some other dips and fish on sticks that was really good then home to mozzies and foottie on tv (result!!) and bed.

Sept 11 -
Woken up (feeling shite) by our new cook who introduces himself (Arun) by shouting through the window MADAM!, MADAM! (knew I should have got that haircut) – pepto bismal is the dogs and sorts out tummy pronto! – just as well I think. Then we are well fed by our chef – veggie rice and fresh pineapple juice. Quick look round the garden (coconuts!) and nice flowers that I photo’ed for Ali and will try to send a different one each day if I can.

Then we went for a walk and ended up at an aquarium and flower show which cost us about 10p each to get into and was similar to walking around Millets (garden centre) which was kinda funny as everybody there was really making a big deal of it. Bought a Mango ice cream for about 2p which was nice. The festival of Onam is this week, I think it’s a bit like xmas as there are lots of lights and decorations everywhere.

Meal out in evening to Kovalum where the waves came crashing onto the beach through mist and I really liked the atmosphere. Saw first brit tourists at ‘FUSION’ where the food was lovely – wait till you try the cheese balls & fish fingers (oo-er x 2). Couple of Kingfishers as sand piper wasn’t available (boo!) Then home to mozzies and power cut that sent me to bed as power out was more like it – seems like it rains and the power just gives up which is also kind of funny (glad I packed the torch!)

Sept 12
Woke up after sleeping well (melatonin is the new bomb!) – felt totally wired! – donned camera and chased butterflies and lizards around the garden (took picture of 1 lizard that freaks me out – will send...maybe) complete communication breakdown with the cook led to me being served 3 times as much food for brekkie as I thought I ordered – he looked well peeved poor chap, and it was really nice omelette and some Indian veggie thing that I cant remember. So after upsetting the only person I had come into contact with, I decided to slink off back to my room. Then came out for work, and I’m just walking out the door when my mate the cook calls me into the kitchen – he had prepared lunch for us!!!! – didn’t have time to eat and I thought I was about to wear the lovely curry he had made! – I feel really guilty (even though I’m smilin’) so might have to brush up on some basic Malayalam, or hire a translator.

Onto the office and introductions to so many people whose names all kind of sound alike, think it would take me the duration of the trip to remember the who's who but they are all really friendly. Nothing much happened during the day - S.S.D.D but it was cool to be able to e-mail people from home. POWER OUT call forced us home where chef had left us some really nice spring rolls....Bless 'im.